Author: J Edward Neill

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Photographing Art – Easy or Hard?

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In the world of making a living with art, 25% of an artist’s power lies in their talent.

25% lies in their dedication.

And 50% lies in their ability to take pretty photos of their work.

Today I share my efforts.

Please enjoy.

See more at

 

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Let’s All Have Sex – 101 Sex Questions

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A deeper, sweatier take on philosophy.

Meant for hot nights with your partner, candid conversations with a lover, and parties during which (almost) everything goes.

Includes questions on relationships, love, and of course, TONS of smoldering sex.

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101 Sex Questions

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Horror of Horrors – The Circle Macabre

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Erisa Stavrou, hunter of hunters, stalks her final prey into the sprawling city of Valai.

She brings nothing but her shirt, her sandals, and her unbreakable blade.

She is the only one who can end the cycle of one dead, every night, forever.

She is the last hope to break…

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The Circle Macabre

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Beautiful, Deadly, Immortal – Nadya the Deathless

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Having survived the Night of Knives, beautiful Nadya rises to power as the baroness of Tolem.

There’s just one problem. The Emperor of Vhur has just dispatched his largest army to retake Tolem and burn Nadya at the stake.

She’s left with only two choices: Run for her life…or kill every last man in the Emperor’s army.

She has no intention of running…

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Nadya the Deathless

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The Hecatomb – A great loss of life

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In a drowned village, on a dark shore, in a city of white stones, an ancient evil stalks.
It has no name, no face, and no desire but to see the death of everything…
…and everyone.

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The Hecatomb

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A Dark Poem – Leaving in the Rain

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It began the moment I left.

The clouds, black and burgeoned with dark water,

caught me, contained me.

Drums in the sky pounded the only message

my body needed to know.

For all their thunder, my bones shook.

For all their streaming rivers

falling down my fractured panes,

I should have turned back.

Brief, I expected them,

and easily swatted aside.

But the sky told no mistruth,

and the serpentine road, swallowed by the rain,

scrawled into my tired eyes

the lie of leaving.

 A wager, I made with the advancing night.

‘You’ll break with the sun when I return.’

‘And go black again with every retreat.’

And impatient, I threatened.

And railed.

And made war against everything.

Even knowing the deed was mine.

But the rain only laughed.

And the night shrugged at the hidden moon.

Daring that I should do it again.

That I should return, and stride the storm

a thousand times over.

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For more words, go here. 

 

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A Poem at Midnight – Black River

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On a black river, I race toward the waning light.

Westward, burning, the smoky clouds breathing their last.

My carriage vibrates on the shallow water,

the wheels wanting to break, but lacking the will.

There are others besides me, but there are none.

I am alone here, but for one.

A dusk-born bat, I see nothing, and feel everything.

Flying, wings biting at the dark, nothing slows me.

Save death.

At the witching hour, to a theme which shakes the world,

I ride.

Sweating. Aching. Hellbent.

At the black river’s end, everything.

More here.

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Books, Tattoos, & More Books

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Hey you.

Like sci-fi, dystopian books, tipsy memoirs, or books illustrated by eight-year old kids?

I knew it.

Watch this.

 

Then go HERE. 

The Box – A Poe-esque Poem

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Am I dead, I asked her?

In a box, I did molder,

rotting, shapeless, my nightly sleep.

Dead, but dreaming, of what waited

beyond my comfortable dirt, beyond

my opulent world of worms and disquiet.

But when they asked, wake me none I said

until the day my box is broken.

 

And then the first of dreams

drained through the holes where nails once lay.

I listened. I woke. And pushed away the cold dirt.

My insides, new, pumped with raw life,

and I recalled the days I’d never lived.

The moon, she burned my face. My eyes, she scalded

with such light my box never allowed.

Still hushed, she bade me walk beside her,

and her smile drank away my grave-dust.

 

For hours, we tread lightly

On the shadowed fields, unseen.

Of the world below, of worms, of coffins, she asked,

and for the moon, we floated high,

in the wind, the light, and nothing.

But to the silver jewel, we never did come,

for at last, she saw the dusk within,

and feared, with me, the sun

would not rise.

 

Quickly, we climbed back down.

The dirt waited, starved of me.

Where now will you go? the dream asked me in lament.

To sleep, I said. My home, it is,

in my tomb, dead but dreaming always.

Down, she lay me, shining no more, but gloaming

as I slid into bed, shivering.

Again, I’ll see you? she asked.

Long from now.

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J Edward Neill

Books for your Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrains!

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101 Questions for Humanity

101 Questions for Humanity – The supreme coffee table book for armchair philosophers. Designed to provoke, question, and challenge. Crack the cover open during big parties, small gatherings, or lonely nights on the couch. Once you taste one question, you’ll want to devour them all!

Here’s a sample.

101 Deeper Darker Cover

101 Deeper, Darker Questions for Humanity – The latest volume in the Coffee Table Philosophy series flips the switch and turns down the lights. It’s the ultimate conversation-igniter. It’s got questions and scenarios to light up big parties and small, intimate gatherings. If you’re smart, and you ARE, this is the book you need to bring the fun. 101 pages. 101 deeper, darker questions. The conversation starts now.

Here’s a deep, dark sample. 🙂

101 Questions for Women and 101 Questions for Men 

101 Questions for Midnight – For those who favor their questions cold, hard, and serious. Meant for small parties, huge gatherings, or lonely evenings under the stars. Each page contains one Question about Life vs Death, Good vs Evil, Morality, Sex, etc. So turn down the lights, pour yourself a drink, and settle down into a darker brand of entertainment.

A sample from the popular blog 10 Things to ask yourself Tonight.

The Ultimate Get to Know Someone Quiz– It’s the most entertainment you can squeeze into 101 pages. Pass it around to friends and family. Bring a copy to your breakroom at work. Crash a party with a few copies in hand. Inside you’ll find a ton of fun, quick questions designed to shine a light on your friends’ and loved ones’ hearts and minds.

The Little Book of BIG Questions – Thinkers, questioners, and science buffs, behold! The Little Book of BIG questions contains more than two-hundred unique conversation starters and thought igniters, all in the form of fun questions. It’s the book for every coffee table. It’s meant to be read in the company of others…or all alone beneath a starlit sky. We all want to know the origin of the universe, the reasons why life exists, and the driving forces behind humanity. Use this book to light the fire in your mind.

Sample questions are right here.

444 Questions for the Universe – Having a few friends over? Throwing a party? In need of a little something to ignite a conversation? 444 Questions for the Universe is the ultimate ice-breaker. Put it on your coffee table, invite a few friends over, and watch the night’s discussions catch fire. Meant as a party book, quiz book, and philosophy book rolled all into one, 444 Questions will guide you through hours of energetic, intelligent, and FUN conversations.

101 Sex Questions – 101 Sex Questions is a deeper, sweatier take on philosophy. Meant for hot nights with your partner, candid conversations with a lover, and parties during which (almost) everything goes. Includes questions on relationships, love, and of course, TONS of smoldering sex. Like a quiz book…but for your libido.

Just read the samples to find out for yourself.

101 Questions for Single People Front

101 Questions for Single People – We live in a Swipe Left Society. Dating’s never been easier. …or harder. 101 Questions for Single People takes a lighthearted look at the issues of dating and relationships in the modern world. Flash it to your friends, at a party, or at a crowded bar full of strangers, and watch the room light up.

A tiny sample of what you’ll find in this book is right here.

101 Qs for Couples Front Cover

101 Questions for Couples – 101 pages. 101 questions for lovers. Call it whatever you’d like: romance, passion, true love, love at first sight. It’s ALL love. And the old saying is true. It takes two to tango. 101 Questions for Couples is meant for road trips with new lovers, romantic dinners at home after the kids are asleep, or fun conversations after twenty years of marriage. Read a few questions to the special person in your life. And thank us later.

(Sample questions here and here.)

101 Questions for Single Parents – This book is for you if…

…you’re a sleep-deprived single mom who can name at least 50 Pokémon but can’t keep your kids’ names straight or remember where you parked your car at the grocery store.

…you’re a single father who sits in a morning work meeting, waiting to give a monthly report presentation, when suddenly you realize you forgot to remove the polish your daughter had applied to your finger nails (and half your hand) the night before.
…you ‘re the grandparent who can’t retire because you’re raising your young grandson alone. After an eight-hour work day, your nights are filled with homework, constructing cities out of Legos, and answer 2AM calls to chase monsters out from under the bed.
…you are, know, love, or want to get to know a single parent. Here are 101 ways to dig deep into the challenges and the joys of single parenting. The following questions are sometimes fun, sometimes thought-provoking, and always enlightening.

Beefing with Avengers – Endgame

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Yeah. You all loved Avengers – Endgame.

We get it. It scored 95% on Rotten Tomatoes. 

It’s the second highest grossing film of blah, blah, blah.

You cheered. You wept. You held your bladders for the movie’s entire 17-hour runtime.

Fine. 

As one woman told me, I should shut up and eat my popcorn.  A valid point, and yet…

…for those few among you who are objective, and those few who went into the movie hoping to actually be surprised, shocked, or stunned, this is for you.

Warning: This list contains spoilers. Lots and lots of spoilers. 

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All the arguments I have with Avengers – Endgame

 

When Thanos’s ship fires a massive volley of missiles into the Avengers’ base, not a single Avenger suffers any significant injury. Not. One. Why even bother with missiles? Would a nuclear bomb hurt them? I mean…even the non-superpower Avengers just shrug off cruise missiles. Wow. Impressive.

Also, why not use the ship’s giant guns and even more missiles on the army of good guys as they assemble in one big easy-to-shoot, ‘hey, look at us assembling‘ block? Why wait until the battle’s end…when doing so means shooting your own soldiers?

Speaking of which, did one single blast from Thanos’ ship…I mean, even ONE…take out a single good guy?

If time travel is now a thing, doesn’t it mean the Avengers can now resolve any possible threat simply by retrieving the infinity stones as needed? Doesn’t that negate the need for every future movie?

Time travel is lazy af. The ultimate deus ex machina. 

Speaking of time, does everyone have plenty of it to pause and have lengthy conversations during a giant battle which will decide the fate of the Universe…or is it just the Avengers?

When using time travel, does everyone randomly meet a key person from their past…triggering long and needless exposition, or is it just the Avengers?

It took Thanos a lifetime’s worth of dedication to finally retrieve all six Infinity Stones, but it takes drunk Thor, a trash panda, and Scarlett Johansson just a few hours to traverse the galaxy and do the same? Hell, give me a few days and maybe I’LL collect all the stones. (When I snap my fingers, I’ll do something more interesting than murder everyone, I promise.)

“Oh Hulk…you said Doctor Strange did what? I completely believe you. Here’s the Time Stone.” Get the f**k out of here.

Captain America can use Mjolnir to create lightning? Breaking your own rules, Marvel.

Whenever I’m creating giant time-traveling machinery that has never before been made, I always have the materials needed to build it readily available.

Please never use time travel again. Unless you’re Back to the Future or the original Terminator. Just. Stop.

For the love of god, Thanos, when you have an Avenger weakened and on his back, f__king finish them. Don’t just punch them a few times and start monologuing. For the smartest villain in the world, you sure aren’t….oh never mind.

Is it really sacrificing someone (for the purpose of claiming the Soul Stone) if that person commits suicide against your wishes?

Hey Marvel (or any filmmaker for that matter) if we ALL know how the movie ends, that’s not good storytelling. That’s called, ‘We know this will make money, so why take any risks?‘

My kid fell asleep. Twice. Five-hundred previous movies, and this is the first one to make him zzzzzzzzzzz. Impressive.

…mostly because of the heavy-handed scene with Tony Stark and his daddy. And the other one with Cap’n America and Peggy. Unsubtlety, thy presence is strong in this film.

Pretty convenient footsteps, Mister Rat who frees Paul Rudd. If not for you, this whole movie wouldn’t have been possible.

At least Ken Jeong showed up. Best part of the movie.

Lastly, Nebula sucks as a good girl. Borrrrring…

Ok. I’m done.

My other movie reviews are here. They’re mostly positive. Please enjoy.

 

 

 

444 Questions for Everyone on the Planet

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Having a few friends over?

Throwing a party?

In need of a little something to ignite a conversation?

444 Questions for the Universe is the ultimate ice-breaker. Put it on your coffee table, invite a few friends over, and watch the night’s discussions catch fire.

Once you ask one question, you’ll want to answer them ALL…

Goodreads Giveaway – The Little Book of BIG Questions

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Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Little Book of Big Questions by J. Edward Neill

The Little Book of Big Questions

by J. Edward Neill

Giveaway ends May 26, 2019.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

The Power of Green and Black in Art

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‘Cathedrals’

‘Sylvan Eternity’

‘Searching for the Shadowlands’

‘Deep’

‘Falling In’

‘Many Moons’

‘Navi’s Dream’

‘Forever Floating’

‘Furnace of Despair’

‘Goblets of the Ether’

‘Worldheart’

‘Grave Towers’

‘Galactic Gears’

‘Hecatomb’

All paintings 20114-2019 J Edward Neill

The Top 6 Dating Personalities for Men & Women

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What would happen if one girl and one guy sat down and determined the top six dating personalities for both men and women?
This list.
Right here.
How sarcastic are we? You decide.
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The Top 6 Dating Personalities for Men & Women

First, the guys…

Man #1: The Alpha Guy. This dude is fearless. He approaches any woman, at any time, in any location. This guy is by far the most likely to use cheesy lines in order to land a date. Rejection doesn’t bother him because he knows he’ll eventually hit the jackpot. This guy is easy to spot. He might be a great dude: confident, handsome, self-assured…or he might be an aggressive blowhard. Look for him at your local club scene.

Man #2: The No-Line Guy. This guy is quieter than the Alpha Guy, but usually has an Alpha Guy as his buddy. However, the No-Line Guy can also be a loner. This guy waits for the Alpha to strike out (which is what usually happens) before casually swooping in to mention how ridiculous Alpha Guy’s pick-up lines were. Not having a line is the Non-Line Guy’s line. He may or may not be a chameleon, meaning he can fit into any social scene…at any time. He’s quiet, patient, and usually prefers quality over quantity. Usually.
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Man #3: The Pitiful Guy. Sweaty, nervous guy. Almost always too afraid to approach any woman, no matter how much he desires her. His only chance of getting laid is to arouse pity in the opposite sex. Most often seen at strip clubs or at home alone crying in his bathtub. If a woman gives this guy one tiny little confidence boost, chances are he’ll love her forever.
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Man #4: Awkward but Endearing Guy. This guys tends to be (but isn’t always) a genuinely decent dude. If he’s older, he’s usually recently divorced or just out of a long relationship. If he’s younger, he’s usually inexperienced in the dating game. He might wait for an Alpha Guy to introduce him to a woman. Or…he might work up the nerve to approach one himself. He tends to be honest, funny, quirky, and interesting. He could be the unicorn girls are looking for, or he could be the nice guy who gets cheated on with Man #1 or #2. He’s usually laid-back. However, if he gets too awkward, then he might end up being…
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Man #5: The Needs to be Funny Guy. This guy is hilarious…in small doses. He’s intense. He’s loud. He’s fearless (like Alpha Guy) but not quite as confident. He’s easily spotted (or overheard) due to his need to be always on. His jokes might be epic-level funny, or fall-flat-on-his-face lame, or possibly (probably) both. He tends to be the life of the party. Or the death of it. If his never-ending stream of jokes turns dark or too sarcastic, beware. After the laughter, the tears will emerge.
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Man #6: The Creeper. You know this guy. We ALL know this guy. He’s sitting at the corner of the bar, staring but not talking. He’s sitting next to you, and he’s getting handsy. He interrupts conversations in which he’s not involved…either by talking or simply leering. He might just be socially awkward. Or he might want to tie women up in his closet. He might be secretly awesome, or he might be your cousin, who insists that a few degrees of family separation ‘makes it ok.’ He’ll rarely approach a woman early in the game. He’ll probably wait for everyone else to strike out (except Pitiful Guy.) Remember, ladies – alcohol and Creepers don’t mix.
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Let’s face it. Hodor’s probably the best catch of the four.

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Now, the girls…
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Girl #1. The Traditionalist. This girl, whether with friends or alone, expects men to approach her. Never the other way around. Even if she likes a guy, even if she secretly plans to marry him and make babies with him, she’s not going to make the first move. “It’s a man’s job to approach,’ is her motto. Gents, you’d better buy her a drink, send her flowers, and step up your wooing game, otherwise you’ve got no shot. The Traditionalist has rules, and you’d better follow them.
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Girl #2. The Quiet Girl. This type of woman, whether due to her quiet nature, her shyness, or perhaps just a general disinterest in romance, is almost as unlikely to approach a guy she’s interested in as a Traditionalist, but for different reasons entirely. She’s often a wing-woman, possibly (but not automatically) an introvert. She’s unlikely to put herself in positions to even land a date in the first place. That said, to a man who pays attention, she will give off subtle signs of interest. He’ll have to get creative to crack her shell.
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Girl #3. The…ummmm…Not so Shy Girl. This gal likes dating, sex, and the pursuit of love (and lust) at least as much as her male counterparts. She’ll churn through guys like a hot knife through partially-melted butter. She’s not shy. She’ll make the first move whenever she likes. If her partner doesn’t please her, she’ll move right on without a second thought. She’ll come off as the alpha whenever girls go out on the prowl (or just to go dancing in groups.) Certain guys will love this type of girl, because it means they don’t always have to make the first move. Other guys will be repulsed because they’ll assume (usually unfairly) that this type of girl is easy. She might be a gem. Or she might be crazy. Or both. Good luck.
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Girl #4. The Genuine/Earnest girl. This type of woman is somewhat rare. She doesn’t have a real dating plan. She doesn’t have a fixed approach. One night, she might see a guy she desires and do nothing about it except glance in his direction. Another night, she might be brave and take the initiative (even if subtly) to get his attention. She’s sometimes reserved, sometimes bold. Her primary characteristic is patience. If she really, really likes a guy, she’ll take her time (weeks, months, years) to finally gain his true attention.
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Girl #5. Sad/Angry/Emo girl. This type of girl will publicly begrudge all her previous relationships (if she’s had any meaningful ones.) She might come off as a Traditionalist or a Quiet Girl, but only at first. Her negativity about men (or life in general) will eventually rise to the surface. She’ll most likely date the man who gives her the most attention or sympathy, but not because she actually likes him. To her, love isn’t a two-way street. It’s one-directional, as in, the guy loves her, and that’s that.
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Girl #6. Quick to Fall Girl. Tends to declare her love (or something close to it) within the first three dates. Will sometimes appear desperate, but only at the time of her choosing. She really just wants to be loved. She has no defined approach. Typically guys will have to make the first move, but after that, she’ll usually take control (via her emotions) of the situation. Approach with caution. If a guy decides this is his type of girl, he should be honest with himself about whether he really likes her, or whether he likes her because of her extreme vulnerability/accessibility. Break up with this girl at your own risk. Your car’s tires are in jeopardy.

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We wrote a book.
It’s about dating while being a single parent.
And it’s right here.