A while back, we made a list of all the pornographic search terms people typed into Google that somehow led them to our website.
We were bewildered and amused, because…well…Tessera Guild doesn’t really have anything to do with porn. We’re all about art, books, gaming, comics, and entertainment. We figure the other 98% of the web has butts and boobs covered.
And yet there we were, getting searched up every single day with terms like ‘Sex Yessera’ and ‘How the evil sex died.’
It’s been about a year since we gathered our big porno search-term list.
And so…
As an anniversary gift to you…
Here’s the latest list of bizarre search terms leading people to us, including porno and just straight-up strange terms:
The Weirdest Google Search Terms Leading People to our Website
(This list is verbatim. No changes made to any of the search terms.)
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The importance of being humble but to walk softly and carry a big stick (aka: the longest Google search ever)
Kmart sex xxx dot com
www.xxxnxxx porn star k.mart (Seriously, what is with the Kmart sex?)
Michelangelo sarcasm
My friends make me their sissy on camping trip
Turducken
Badness of white bread to skin
How to build a 12 inch tall popsicle stick bridge
Zoo xxxxy god
Old basic pronstar
Everybody hates chris poster (Who’s chris and why do people hate him?)
Silhouette chairs theater mystery
Zelda is sick wallpaper
Sexygirl x.x.x9 (What’s the 9 for??)
Deadpool sitting on a bridge
Deadpool laying sideways
Losing? (What are you trying to say?)
Peter Pan Gay Sex
Spiderman having sex
Spider man the black cat costumes bed blacker (A cosplay thing?)
The werewolf costume changed toward the end of the seaon eric cord
How do you write a sex scene when you a still a virgin (Poor kid…)
Orlando shooting redneck dark humor
Skull sex
Upset by wallpaper (You need therapy, friend.)
Halloween tree hugger monster
Pornhub reveals how many people couldn’t resist themselves
Michael sucks (Sucks what, exactly?)
Straight outta compton Tijuana
What does it mean when you say you “respect someone else’s opinion”? (If you have to ask…)
Jason momoas beard
Powerful nsfw portraits reveal what real people look like without their clothes on (Pretty sure we didn’t write that article.)
How to prepare frydais?
I’m awful at relationships (It’s true!)
Dark hermit the frog memes
Sexy thighs smoke halloween
Some peoples cleaning the city and sweeping in paths sketch images
Tyler james Williams butt
xxx smoll girl sexvideo
Love affairs painting using shapes (That’s two different searches, buddy.)
Mat damon narations salmon swimming upstream
What non pornographic sexy searches can you do on google (It’s called Safesearch. Use it.)
Zombie honeymoon
Licking doctor moriarty
Hulk f**ks black widow gif (That poor girl!)
Sega game with a black kid wearing roller blades kicking ass (I want to play this game.)
Sed penting
ラストアクションヒーロー チケット (Seriously?)
마블코믹스 (Can someone translate this for us?)
спойлер фильм (All of our articles are in English. We swear.)
Images of tasty pizzas
First time fuking girl dliding of crying videodown (Someone call the cops!)
Suck boob comics hindi zoom page (???)
Swat movie actressa
One who hates love is called (I dunno. Tell us.)
w.w.w cvr health nighs xxxy images
How much wait of daunial abrham? (Say what now?)
Big boob small girl f**king his brother xxx sex videos free download (People are so specific with their porn tastes.)
If you ask for the bull, you’re gonna get the horn
I am a devil (Sucks to be you.)
I failed myself (No really. You’ll be ok.)
Failed (Ok fine. We give up.)
Atention tomorrow it my b.day
I didn’t get any cake (Two different searches. Same guy?)
mofos grandpa .com
homey fireass
Black bigspiders hote sexy
Glorious foxes pap smear
Amanda dog groomer phoenix (Is that for the PS4 or Xbox One?)
Accidental web search (Oh, the irony!)
Romantic movie the teeth
Mountain due (The worst drink ever.)
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In the mood to laugh some more? Try this.