Fifty Observations of Humanity
When people create more than they consume, things tend to work out.
In twenty years it’s possible ALL government will take place via Twitter.
99% of texted ‘lols’ are a lie.
Speed limits are also a lie. Until they’re not.
Hard work almost always trumps raw talent, except in the dating scene.
There’s probably a biological reason nice guys always finish last.
Success can often be measured by the number of trolls one accumulates.
Combined, humans have spent billions of years sitting in front of televisions.
Home isn’t a place. It’s a state of mind.
Don’t SAY you’re sorry. BE sorry. It’s better in the long run.
Complaining about other people’s generation (be they older or younger) is a useless gesture.
Complaining about anything on the internet is also useless.
…unless you post the complaint to Yelp.
The ideal length of time to carry a grudge is thirty seconds.
If you haven’t yet been ghosted, you’re in the minority.
The difference between country music and heavy metal is one fret and a few fashion choices.
You can’t count on Karma to bring your enemies to justice.
…but you can probably count on your personal misdeeds to come back to you one way or another.
Paid dating sites don’t really want you to find love. Think about it.
You don’t know most of the people on your Facebook page.
…and they certainly don’t know you.
At any given moment, 50% of the modern world is looking at their phone.
Chasing looks over personality usually ends the same way every time.
It’s easier for cat owners to take vacations than dog owners.
But far easier to land a date with a puppy than a kitten.
The worst kind of judgments are ALL of them.
Almost everyone is special to someone, but no one is special to everyone.
Most of us want the same things out of our lives (peace, love, dinner) and yet we start new battles every day.
Dogs’ greatest wish is to ride in cars with open windows – we should all be so lucky.
People’s favorite songs are usually entangled with people’s favorite memories.
If Google Maps went down tomorrow, 80% of modern society would forever wander the earth.
Nintendo has made a massive fortune re-publishing the same five video games for thirty years.
Taking other people’s word for things is like playing Russian Roulette. If it’s so important, find out the truth for yourself.
Losing sucks, but it’s also highly educational.
The worst lie to tell is one told to oneself.
Everything is derivative, and it’s okay.
No one owes you anything. Not your spouse. Not the person you’re dating. Not your kids. Not your parents. Not the government. No one. Remember this, and be free.
…ok…well…you might owe the bank something. But that’s a different matter.
Morality is a useful, yet completely subjective concept.
The most powerful weapon in the battle for a happy life is the word, ‘No.’
It’s probable the only people who will forever love you are your children and your grandmother.
Vengeance usually injures the vengeful more than the target.
Based on the number of people who announce they’re quitting social media only to return the very next day, social media is harder to give up than cigarettes.
…meaning someone should probably make a new drug to help people kick the habit.
…and they should call this drug Cantclix.
The surest destroyer of happiness is insecurity.
…and the surest destroyer of red wine is refrigeration.
Complaining about the state of society from the comfort of a couch is pointless.
1,000 years ago you probably would’ve been dead at your age. Enjoy stuff while you can.
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Fifty observations aren’t nearly enough.