I’m one of those people that believes in Karma–cause and effect. I believe that our Dharma plays a huge role in how we confront life’s challenges. I also believe there is a balance to everything. The world around us is always attempting to balance itself, to keep things in check, and when we live as close to this balance as we can life is good to us. I’m using words associated with Hinduism and Buddhism, but I’m not affiliated with either. This is something I’ve believed and thought about for the last 20+ years. It’s my brand of common sense. Is my life always stress free, full of serenity and enlightenment? Ha! I wish.
But there are moments when I see the dominoes falling into place and I know why. My gut tells me this was meant to be.
Last week I received word that I did not pass the DragonCon Art Show Jury. Was I upset? Not at all. I know that may sound crazy, but I had been giving some thought to not applying this year. What????
I’d just finished a painting called Renascentia (Latin for Rebirth). This painting… THIS painting.
I began working on this painting in 2014. I sketched her out over the course of a week and then set her aside while I worked on a commission. Then the Christmas holiday season hit, my daughter was home from school, and not a whole lot got done. But even so, each time I returned to the first stages of the painting my heart would beat a little faster. It was clear not everyone was as thrilled by this work in progress as I was, but I couldn’t let her go. Before the painting was even finished I had decided she would be on the cover of my sketchbook, Daydreams and Wanderings.
It was in the weeks just before JordanCon, when my Kickstarter funded, that I knew Renascentia was the start of something new in my creative path. She is the beginning. So when the call came from DragonCon, I was not crushed because I’d already begun thinking that I wanted to focus on painting this summer, to follow this new path and see where it takes me. If I’d passed the jury, preparing for the art show would have consumed everything. It’s a lot of work! Plus, I was already going to JordanCon; where I would have to chance to meet some artists I admire, sell some of my own art and make some new connections.
However, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a tiny voice in the back of my head saying, “You suck. You got into DragonCon last year but not this year because you suck.” LOL
And then, Renascentia was awarded Judges’ Choice for JordanCon 2015.
I wrote a blog post on my website about my JordanCon experiences. If you want the full scoop, click through! But I will share the comment Todd Lockwood wrote in response to that post:
The pleasure was all mine, Amanda! I don’t often get the opportunity to influence the choice of “Best in Show” or “Judges’ Choice,” but when I do, it’s the one painting in the show that I most wish -I- might have painted. That was yours. It was unexpected and compelling. Most worthy.
Dominoes falling into place…
Geat post Amanda. When rejection happens or there’s a negative comment about something we’ve created, it’s human nature to focus on the negative and let that define who we are and what we do. We cast aside all of the positive things we’ve encountered and focus on one negative thing someone said. That’s why I keep a praise file that I can refer to when I get down about what I’m trying to accomplish, in my case writing. When I look through it I think, wow I guess I don’t suck after all.
Thanks, Rick! Overcoming that negative inner voice can be a struggle. I like your idea of a praise file!
I think this is a form of “loving when a plan comes together”.
As you mentioned on your blog, these victories make it easier to not sit in the studio with the nagging doubts hounding you (or at least it quiets them down a bit). I’m excited for you!