The pretty much self-explanatory, mostly sarcastic list of book titles I’ll probably never get around to writing:
1,001 Questions for Humanity (I already did 101. But 1,001? That’s a lot of questions.)
The Life of J Edward – An Autobiography (The book absolutely no one would read.)
Love in the Time of Ebola
Fast Times at Lilburn Middle School
Lego Wars (A children’s novel…inspired by my son’s massive floor battles)
Why No Woman Should Ever Wear Granny Panties
The Dark Behind the Darkest Darkness – Book 9 of Tyrants of the Dead (Please. Make it stop.)
Marriage in the 21st Century (As written by the least qualified person…ever)
Leaving in the 8th (Your baseball team will lose)
The 2015 Chicago Bears – A Tale of Triumph
Sarcasm for Dummies
50 Great Atlanta Restaurants (There’re only about 25)
Honey, Where are my Pants?
The Science of Sugar Babies
Undead Davy Crockett (His hat’s undead, too)
The Cynics’ Handbook – Hating the World in 12 Easy Steps
More Gummi Bears! – Baking for Four Year Olds
The Couch Goddess
Dating Married Women – A Beginner’s Guide
The Bishop…and Other Made-Up Sex Moves
Nudity Required – The Three-Dollar Challenge
Why Men Always Need a Bigger TV
When 10 Minutes Means 2 Hours
The Desperate Housewives of Flag Football Players
My Life as the Only Unbaptized Kid in Catholic School (This one’s actually true)
Zombie Hookers (Why should vampires get all the sexy?)
Histrionics – The Science of Channing Tatum Worship
Why Almost Everyone Should Make a Sex Tape
Put Down the F’ing Phone and Raise your F’ing Kid (Another one I actually do want to write)
Procrastination Nation
199 Excuses for Calling in Sick
Under the Radar – The Subtle Glory of NOT Caring About Politics
That’s it.
I’m done.
J Edward Neill
Author of the Tyrants of the Dead dark fantasy trilogy
Co -Author of Hollow Empire – Night of Knives
Author of The Sleepers and Old Man of Tessera