Caption Contest – Part 1 of 10,000

Who likes free stuff? I know I do.

Who likes captioning random pictures? Yes. Have some.

For the first contest in my ten-thousand part series, I’m offering a sparkly, brand-spanking-new softcover edition of Down the Dark Path. If you win, I’ll sign the inside cover, box it up, and ship it to your house (on my dime) wrapped in a scrumptious bouquet of potpourri and ancient Mayan bone fragments. Ok, that last part is only partly true. The fragments will probably belong to my neighbors. I prefer to shop locally.

Anyway, the rules are simple. Whoever’s caption of the G-Man sporting his new ink amuses me the most…wins. Add your comment in the comments section of the blog, and I’ll choose a winner. All entries must be submitted by Friday, Nov 15th at Midnight. If you win, I’ll contact you somehow (probably by knocking at your door, a la the dead son in my favorite short story of all time, The Monkey’s Paw) and snag your shipping address. No international requests, please. Unless you’re a publisher. And rich. Or if you’re Ken Jeong.

Here’s the photo. G-Man acquired this ink courtesy of All or Nothing Tattoo after a night of binge drinking and building Thomas the Train puzzles:


‘Got this one in Afghanistan, 2011. Pretty f’n sweet, huh?’

Enjoy, and good luck.

J Edward Neill

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  1. The Man Code: Never bring a knife to a gun fight, but always bring swords to the gun show.

  2. “sure be glad when they finish coloring it in, then I can get that b!tchin skull”

  3. That was one heck of a kindergarten Christmas party. I got drunk off egg nog & woke up with this tattoo. How am I gonna explain this to my mom!

  4. Today was the day I realized a toddler has bigger biceps than I do.

  5. DADDY! DADDY! LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAWED ON ME!! She took my pants tho…oh wait, I left those next to mommy’s crack pipe.

  6. You guys are pretty good at this. I’ll definitely need to do more of these.

    Midnight tonight, I’ll pick the winner.

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