What would happen if one girl and one guy sat down and determined the top six dating personalities for both men and women?
This list.
Right here.
How sarcastic are we? You decide.
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The Top 6 Dating Personalities for Men & Women
First, the guys…
Man #1: The Alpha Guy. This dude is fearless. He approaches any woman, at any time, in any location. This guy is by far the most likely to use cheesy lines in order to land a date. Rejection doesn’t bother him because he knows he’ll eventually hit the jackpot. This guy is easy to spot. He might be a great dude: confident, handsome, self-assured…or he might be an aggressive blowhard. Look for him at your local club scene.
Man #2: The No-Line Guy. This guy is quieter than the Alpha Guy, but usually has an Alpha Guy as his buddy. However, the No-Line Guy can also be a loner. This guy waits for the Alpha to strike out (which is what usually happens) before casually swooping in to mention how ridiculous Alpha Guy’s pick-up lines were. Not having a line is the Non-Line Guy’s line. He may or may not be a chameleon, meaning he can fit into any social scene…at any time. He’s quiet, patient, and usually prefers quality over quantity. Usually.
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Man #3: The Pitiful Guy. Sweaty, nervous guy. Almost always too afraid to approach any woman, no matter how much he desires her. His only chance of getting laid is to arouse pity in the opposite sex. Most often seen at strip clubs or at home alone crying in his bathtub. If a woman gives this guy one tiny little confidence boost, chances are he’ll love her forever.
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Man #4: Awkward but Endearing Guy. This guys tends to be (but isn’t always) a genuinely decent dude. If he’s older, he’s usually recently divorced or just out of a long relationship. If he’s younger, he’s usually inexperienced in the dating game. He might wait for an Alpha Guy to introduce him to a woman. Or…he might work up the nerve to approach one himself. He tends to be honest, funny, quirky, and interesting. He could be the unicorn girls are looking for, or he could be the nice guy who gets cheated on with Man #1 or #2. He’s usually laid-back. However, if he gets too awkward, then he might end up being…
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Man #5: The Needs to be Funny Guy. This guy is hilarious…in small doses. He’s intense. He’s loud. He’s fearless (like Alpha Guy) but not quite as confident. He’s easily spotted (or overheard) due to his need to be always on. His jokes might be epic-level funny, or fall-flat-on-his-face lame, or possibly (probably) both. He tends to be the life of the party. Or the death of it. If his never-ending stream of jokes turns dark or too sarcastic, beware. After the laughter, the tears will emerge.
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Man #6: The Creeper. You know this guy. We ALL know this guy. He’s sitting at the corner of the bar, staring but not talking. He’s sitting next to you, and he’s getting handsy. He interrupts conversations in which he’s not involved…either by talking or simply leering. He might just be socially awkward. Or he might want to tie women up in his closet. He might be secretly awesome, or he might be your cousin, who insists that a few degrees of family separation ‘makes it ok.’ He’ll rarely approach a woman early in the game. He’ll probably wait for everyone else to strike out (except Pitiful Guy.) Remember, ladies – alcohol and Creepers don’t mix.
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Let’s face it. Hodor’s probably the best catch of the four.
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Now, the girls…
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Girl #1. The Traditionalist. This girl, whether with friends or alone, expects men to approach her. Never the other way around. Even if she likes a guy, even if she secretly plans to marry him and make babies with him, she’s not going to make the first move. “It’s a man’s job to approach,’ is her motto. Gents, you’d better buy her a drink, send her flowers, and step up your wooing game, otherwise you’ve got no shot. The Traditionalist has rules, and you’d better follow them.
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Girl #2. The Quiet Girl. This type of woman, whether due to her quiet nature, her shyness, or perhaps just a general disinterest in romance, is almost as unlikely to approach a guy she’s interested in as a Traditionalist, but for different reasons entirely. She’s often a wing-woman, possibly (but not automatically) an introvert. She’s unlikely to put herself in positions to even land a date in the first place. That said, to a man who pays attention, she will give off subtle signs of interest. He’ll have to get creative to crack her shell.
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Girl #3. The…ummmm…Not so Shy Girl. This gal likes dating, sex, and the pursuit of love (and lust) at least as much as her male counterparts. She’ll churn through guys like a hot knife through partially-melted butter. She’s not shy. She’ll make the first move whenever she likes. If her partner doesn’t please her, she’ll move right on without a second thought. She’ll come off as the alpha whenever girls go out on the prowl (or just to go dancing in groups.) Certain guys will love this type of girl, because it means they don’t always have to make the first move. Other guys will be repulsed because they’ll assume (usually unfairly) that this type of girl is easy. She might be a gem. Or she might be crazy. Or both. Good luck.
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Girl #4. The Genuine/Earnest girl. This type of woman is somewhat rare. She doesn’t have a real dating plan. She doesn’t have a fixed approach. One night, she might see a guy she desires and do nothing about it except glance in his direction. Another night, she might be brave and take the initiative (even if subtly) to get his attention. She’s sometimes reserved, sometimes bold. Her primary characteristic is patience. If she really, really likes a guy, she’ll take her time (weeks, months, years) to finally gain his true attention.
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Girl #5. Sad/Angry/Emo girl. This type of girl will publicly begrudge all her previous relationships (if she’s had any meaningful ones.) She might come off as a Traditionalist or a Quiet Girl, but only at first. Her negativity about men (or life in general) will eventually rise to the surface. She’ll most likely date the man who gives her the most attention or sympathy, but not because she actually likes him. To her, love isn’t a two-way street. It’s one-directional, as in, the guy loves her, and that’s that.
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Girl #6. Quick to Fall Girl. Tends to declare her love (or something close to it) within the first three dates. Will sometimes appear desperate, but only at the time of her choosing. She really just wants to be loved. She has no defined approach. Typically guys will have to make the first move, but after that, she’ll usually take control (via her emotions) of the situation. Approach with caution. If a guy decides this is his type of girl, he should be honest with himself about whether he really likes her, or whether he likes her because of her extreme vulnerability/accessibility. Break up with this girl at your own risk. Your car’s tires are in jeopardy.
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We wrote a book.
It’s about dating while being a single parent.
And it’s right here.
