Ages ago when I lived in the real world, I had a crap-ton of cats. I mean…a lot…as in too damn many.
They swept in and out of my life like ocean waves. Sometimes the tide would rise (12 cats when I was a kid) and later recede (as I type this, only 2 are left.)
They’ve been a constant fixture in my life. I admit I’m not really sure what’ll happen when the last two go. Maybe I’ll get more, maybe not. We’ll see.
Look, I get it that dudes having cats is pretty much the end of the world.
F it.
Here’s a glimpse of my cat army, past and present:
![103-0356_IMG](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/103-0356_IMG-300x225.jpg)
Let’s start WAY back, as in almost 20 years ago. This here is Pumpkin, codename: Mr. Bitch. He lost his eye due to surgery, but lasted many years afterward.
![104-0495_IMG](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/104-0495_IMG-300x225.jpg)
The fun thing about Mr. Bitch was that even after he was fixed, he would try to have sex with all the female cats. They didn’t seem to mind. I guess you can’t keep some guys down.
![Last Pics B4 Camera Erased 002](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Last-Pics-B4-Camera-Erased-002-300x225.jpg)
Kong caught napping. This little cat would dream so deep she’d shiver. No doubt dreaming of Mr. Bitch gettin’ his groove on.
![New Kitty 4](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/New-Kitty-4-300x225.jpg)
Jibby was a nutty animal. Not quite right in the head. She eventually ran away. I still like to think she’s out there doin’ her thing. If she’s alive, she’s only 8 years old, so maybe…
![Last Pics B4 Camera Erased 009](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Last-Pics-B4-Camera-Erased-009-300x225.jpg)
Now let’s talk about Chitlen, aka: Cheezy, aka: Chang. She was badly inbred and insufferably dumb. But damn she did funny stuff. Every time anything in the house would make a hissing sound, she’d go bonkers and meow…forever.
![105-0559_IMG](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/105-0559_IMG-300x225.jpg)
Introducing Angel, alias: Da Terre. She never really fit in with the rest of the troops. In an army, she’d be a spy, a sniper, a lone wolf. She may very well have been the smartest of them all. It’s probably important to mention this shelf was about 6 1/2 feet off the ground.
![103-0330_IMG](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/103-0330_IMG-300x225.jpg)
Link and Melba. Named for the Zelda character and the toast. Found these two at a softball game. I think they were bro and sis, but who knows?
![IM000349](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/IM000349-300x225.jpg)
That’s Cheezy on the right, and Braids (aka: T Nigs) on the left. I couldn’t even sit on the damn couch without them showing up looking for handouts.
![IM000569](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/IM000569-300x225.jpg)
This one still lives with me. Noodle is impossibly stupid, but undeniably the nicest animal you’ll ever meet. Also, she smells bad.
![IM000124](http://downthedarkpath.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/IM000124-300x225.jpg)
Now let’s talk about my BFF, my main cat, my little pardna in crime. This is Sticky, aka: Sticks, and even though she’s blind now, she’s still a lunatic.
More Sticky action shots:
And random shots of the army at work…and asleep:
* * *
I’ve had about 35 cats during various phases of my life. Alas, I don’t have pics of most of them (leastways not digital ones.)
Most of them have passed on.
But they’re still troops in my army. And always will be.
And when I reach the point of having no pets anymore (probable considering my plan to move) I’ll remember these little mofos.
* * *
Sadly, in this book, all the cats are GONE.
See you next time.
Cat armies are the best. 🙂
And the deadliest…