9 Reasons to Break Up With Someone

Nine Reasons to Break Up with Someone

True-life tales…

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Uncommon Ground

I never really minded her dislike of baseball. Or MMA. Or most of the things I hold dear.

But when she told me she’d never seen Office Space or Grandma’s Boy, I knew the end was near.

– Christopher

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Like Son, Like Father

She always wanted to hang out at my parents’ place.

She especially liked my dad.

My parents had recently separated, but decided to live in separate parts of the house.

I don’t really need to finish this story, do I?

– Anonymous

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First Time’s a Charm

I’d been dating a beautiful girl for many months, but we hadn’t yet been intimate. I wanted to wait because I didn’t want to mess things up.

Five months in, I cracked and we have sex for the first time at my house.

It was great. No complaints.

I went to work the next morning and told her the place was hers for the day. When I came home that afternoon, I found tiny hearts drawn with lipstick all over the house.

In the shower. On the mirrors. On the glass cabinet doors. Even one on my iPad screen.

It was too much. I bailed.

– Jeff

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Gag Order

Every time he brushed his teeth, he’d gag horribly. I couldn’t stand it.

He’d have made a terrible gay guy.

– Michele

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She gets around better than you think…

My guy was always super sweet to my female friend who’d been partially paralyzed during a skiing accident. He’d push her wheelchair up ramps. He’d give her rides and help her get into the car. He even landed her a job.

I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised when I went to her apartment and found him pushing ‘other’ things.

Afterward, I managed to keep her as a friend.

Although sometimes when I see steep hills, I imagine how easy it would be…

– Anonymous

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Slow and Steady Loses the Race

She wouldn’t stop bringing stray animals into the house.

And by stray animals, I mean turtles.

– Gary

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Mixed Signals

Our break-up argument started over the small matter of me messing up her Netflix movie queue. Apparently my favorites weren’t the same as our favorites.

She dumped me over it. It was ok. I understood.

But she never actually deleted me as a guest user. So I’m still able to login and watch movies on her account.

And I get to see what her new boyfriend likes to watch.

– Joe

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A Two-and-a-Half Way?

My fiancée and I lived in a small downtown apartment. Even so, we liked to host parties for our friends.

One night, we ran out of beer near the party’s end, so I walked down to the local convenient store to get a six-pack. When I returned, everything was dark and quiet. I figured all the guests had gone home.

Nope.

I walked into my bedroom to find my girl in bed with another couple. They tried inviting me in (as if that was the plan all along) but I felt too disgusted.

Even if the ‘extra’ girl had been a supermodel, I wouldn’t have done it. But she was a dwarf – about four feet tall.

– Russell

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Another Reason to Ditch Cable

 Several of my buddies told me they believed my wife was having an affair, but since none offered any evidence, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

But then one fateful day I came home early to find her sleeping naked on the couch and a man asleep in our bed. When I confronted the man, he said he was the TV repair man, and that he’d passed out due to working long hours.

I went to the living room to wake up my wife, but the guy slipped out the window.

…and took my TV with him.

– Anonymous

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For 90 more real-life break-up stories, try this.

For happier endings, go here.

101 Questions for Couples!

On a road trip together.

During a romantic dinner at home.

Holding hands on a park bench.

After twenty years of marriage.

Read a few of these to the special person in your life.

And thank us later.

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101 Questions for Couples

The new book by J Edward Neill and Jaylene Jacobus

101 Qs for Couples Front Cover

It’s 101 pages.

With 101 questions meant to be shared between lovers, new and old.

Take it anywhere.

And capture your partner’s heart all over again.

Try some sample questions right here!

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J Edward Neill & Jaylene Jacobus

Oh…we’ve also got a book for single people. Right here!

A Big ole Brainy Bundle

Got a few guests to entertain?

Having some company in for a party?

Got a glass of wine and a warm, crackling fireplace to sit beside and fall into deep thought?

Good. I knew I could count on you.

If you’re looking to engage your intellect, go no further. Get the Coffee Table Philosophy Bundle. It’s 4 books flush with 404 questions to challenge, entertain, and arouse. Questions are focused on Life, Death, Good vs Evil, Morality, Sex, Relationships, etc.

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Get it. Devour it.

And since we’re BFF’s, I hope you’ll review it. 🙂

J Edward Neill

5 Deep, Dark Questions

To blow up any party anywhere.

 Start asking questions to mess with people’s minds…

 …and stuff.

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Little Pharma

 Turns out you’re in the pharmaceutical industry.

And you’ve just invented the pill of a lifetime.

Used once daily, whoever takes it becomes immune to ______________.

_____________ can be whatever you want it to be, but it can only be one thing.

A disease. A mental condition. A state of mind. Whatever.

 Fill in _____________.

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Can we Talk?

 Take a brief trip into your own past.

 What’s one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?

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Extinction Level Events

 Choose one animal species on Earth to utterly eliminate. Consider all the repercussions of their absence.

Now choose an extinct species to revive and return to a healthy population level.

 Explain both your choices.

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 Protect this House

 Name two instances in which it’s ok to be completely selfish.

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 The Heist

 If you could steal any one thing in the world and make it yours forever, what would it be?

It can be an object, a person, a life situation, a place.

You won’t get in any trouble for taking it.

No one will ever know.

 Well?

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If you enjoy these types of questions, here’s more.

The five up above are similar to what you’ll find in my ice-breaker/conversation-starter/philosophy-lite book:

 

Until next time,

J Edward Neill

Now available – 101 Sex Questions!

101 Sex Questions

A sexy departure from the Coffee Table Philosophy series

It’s quick. It’s dirty. It’s fun. It’s a deeper, sweatier take on philosophy. Meant for hot nights alone with your partner, candid conversations between lovers, and parties during which (almost) everything goes.

Includes quizzes about sex, games, and sexy distractions to keep you occupied for hours. Read just one Question…and you’ll want to drown in them all.

101 xxxy Questions Front Cover

For a sample of what you’re in for, check here.

And if you like your philosophy cleaner (and darker) check these out:

101 Questions for Midnight 101-Questions-for-Humanity-333x500 101 Questions for Men Cover 101 Questions for Women Cover untitled-200x300

J Edward Neill